Embrace & Uncover

A few weeks ago, I was sitting in the dentist's office while the hygienist cleaned my teeth. Going to the dentist is my least favorite trip. I always feel totally exposed and uncomfortable as the hygienist looks inside of my mouth. She can see all of the gunk, all of the build up, all of the stains. She can tell how often I do or don't floss just by looking inside of my mouth! I also go into full panic mode whenever she cleans my teeth because it usually feels like my teeth are going to break apart as she uses her special tools to clean and scrape away all of the plaque and tartar that has built up over time.

This has also been the state of my heart. Sometimes it feels like God is the hygienist and I am the patient. Recently, I went through an intense season of wilderness where some very intimate places in my heart were exposed. If you have never heard of the term "wilderness", a wilderness season is hard to explain unless you have actually experienced it. During a season of wilderness, you may feel lonely, isolated, exposed, cut off, and everything around you may seem dark and barren for an extended period of time (hence the term "season"). You may be experiencing some loss in your heart and in your life. Whether it's the loss of a dream, the loss of someone dear to you, or just a lack that you don't know how to explain, the wilderness can often feel like a very broken place. So why does God allow us to go through seasons of wilderness? How can we trust God is with us in the wilderness when everything around us seems to proclaim the opposite? I write about the theme of wilderness a lot because I believe such a season has a lot to offer if we would really learn to press into it and allow God to walk us through it and use us through that time. We can allow our wilderness to either snuff out what God has placed inside of us, or to bring it out. The wilderness refines and removes our tough layers to get to the treasure inside. The wilderness humbles us and forces things out of us that we never could have discovered on our own. It's a messy process because it requires chipping away at all of the dirt that has covered up the promise. When we embrace our wilderness instead of being resistant to it, we allow God to uncover the layers that cover up the promise inside. There is breakthrough inside of you and the Lord wants to lead you to that place of healing today, but you have to do the tedious heart-work of showing up and allowing Him to prune and remove whatever it is that is holding you back. Like a trip to the dentist, the more we allow the plaque and tartar to build up, the more intense the removal process. Sometimes as I sit in that chair, I literally fear for my life (or at least my mouth anyway). I can hear and feel the tools colliding with my teeth and I think to myself "oh my gosh what is she doing! She is going to break my teeth!" But then I have to trust and remember that she knows what she is doing and I do not. I can't see what she sees, I can only feel the change that is happening as she removes the build up to get to what is hiding beneath all that junk; if you've ever had your teeth cleaned, you know that the process doesn't feel very nice, but in the end I leave with cleaner and whiter teeth, just as they were meant to be. God works in the same way. As he leads our hearts through the fires of refinement, He reveals some pain, pride, or past hurts that we don't always want to face. God does not want us to stay in a place of brokenness. The only way we can find true healing and walk into where God is leading is by choosing to face those things and allowing Him to refine our hearts in the process. During that process we may feel confused and tempted to question. However, we must trust that it is for our good. He won't expose anything without purpose. If God exposes a tender place in your heart, it's because He wants to do something with it. And over time all of those tender places He is revealing will lead you toward your healing. At the time, I could only see and feel the pain. I could only see that tender place. I remember feeling so exposed and uncomfortable. You should feel exposed, naked almost, as God completes His restorative work in your heart. He is removing the layers of skin that you have hidden under for so long. Just as the hygienist removes layers of plaque and build up to reveal brighter and whiter teeth that you forgot existed. As I look back I can see how God has used my pain to bring me to a place of wholeness. He is doing a new work in me. In order to fulfill His plans of newness, He's going to have to keep removing the old. It begins with obedience. What people, things, thoughts or feelings is God calling you to leave behind today? What tender places is He calling you to surrender or expose so that His restorative work may be made complete in you? I encourage you to take that step of faith today and invite Him to remove some layers that have been building up for a long time. God sees your pain and wants to walk you through it but it begins with inviting Him in. If you are ready to take that step and need someone to pray with you and keep you accountable, I encourage you to comment below and pray for the person who commented before you. Let's be a community who speaks life into one another's broken and desolate places.

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Through this blog, it is my hope that by being vulnerable about my wilderness season, the Lord would minister to you in yours. When I first started this blog, I knew that God wanted me to be honest about the painful places in my heart that I would rather avoid. And as I continue to press into where He is leading me and all that He is teaching me, it has become evident that the burden on my heart is to walk through your wilderness with you by writing about mine. So if you begin to notice a theme running throughout my posts, know that it is intentional. As I have learned to embrace my wilderness, the Lord has uncovered some truths about the wilderness and how it is used to propel me forward rather than keep me in a place of darkness. God does not bring us to the wilderness so that we may dwell there. He brings us through the wilderness because by doing so, He is developing us and teaching us what it means to live with a heart wholly surrendered to Him. Embracing the wilderness is a process; it can be a very useful season if we allow it to be. So as you join me on this journey, I pray that you would be encouraged as well as gain some useful tools to help you navigate and receive the most out of your season--whether it be one of wilderness, breakthrough, or somewhere in between.

One of the most useful tools I utilized during a time of immense loneliness and heartache was and still is -- scripture. God speaks to us through His word, and when we have His word in our hearts, He continues to speak to us in other ways which line up with His word. However, if we are not allowing His truth to fill our hearts, then we will believe the lies that pain and loneliness speak to our hearts. We will miss out on what He is speaking because we are listening to that which contradicts His truth. I encourage you to read His Word and the truth that it offers. Below are some of the passages of scripture that have been vital to helping me navigate the difficult seasons of my heart. I will link the entire passage so you may have the context and work through and study it on your own, but will also note some of the key verses that really stick out to me. I pray that as you allow these words to permeate your heart, the Lord would meet you and speak to you there so that you would be as deeply encouraged as I have been through the reading of His word.

With grace,

Celina

Isaiah 43:2, 19

Psalm 126:4-6

1 Peter 1:6-7

Isaiah 30:15

Isaiah 45:3

Romans 8 (honestly just read and highlight the whole thing because it is THAT great and I can never get enough of Romans)

Psalm 9:9-10